One of the most difficult cultural messages to unravel in my own inner life has been the message of “the doer.” I, and most people I know, was taught — you are what you do. This wasn’t overtly state of course, rather it was subtle programming that seeped in through watching the world around me: Be productive Cross things off your list Have a good time Don’t forget to smile. We’re taught from an early age to seek external recognition and praise for all these things that we