The work of letting go has been to discover what life is like when I’m not spending it in offense or defense (protection or grasping). These offensive and defensive moments often happen during interactions with others, of course, but the most profound offensive and defensive behavior was what I discovered inside of myself. I woke up every morning and noticed that there was a part of me, that was already chattering away about the day ahead—what will I do, where will I go, what

The journey is not to find Truth but to discover what is not truth. Truth cannot be found, it is always and always here. I read these kinds of koans for years thinking of them as puzzles to chew on, until an answer arrived, like working a Rubik's Cube until all the colors aligned. But really there is nothing to think about, thinking muddles the truth further rather than clarifying anything. And so it sometimes feels futile to attempt to write about all of this, and yet I feel

I set out to write what arises, to follow this flow of words from the heart, wherever they lead. Somedays I’ve thought to write something different, or to try to control what comes. “Maybe,” I think, “I can tell that funny story about that time when I lived in Australia and went to the beach to watch the kite surfers…” But then I catch myself planning and recall that I’ve vowed not to plan this. I’ve promised myself not to  think out any of these entries, but rather to write

It’s a dream, yet there’s worse happening in reality. Along with empathy, guilt moves through for my privileged life, for my lack of suffering. It’s moments like these when the power of believing thoughts is transparent. I find myself in a state of sad loneliness because of a dream my mind created. Yet, this alone is not a bad thing. The empathy and love I feel as a result connects me to the whole of the human experience. The part that is useless is the guilt, helplessness, d

One of the most difficult cultural messages to unravel in my own inner life has been the message of “the doer.” I, and most people I know, was taught  — you are what you do. This wasn’t overtly state of course, rather it was subtle programming that seeped in through watching the world around me: Be productive Cross things off your list Have a good time Don’t forget to smile. We’re taught from an early age to seek external recognition and praise for all these things that we

Someone did something I didn’t like. I asked him not to do it. He did it anyway. What now? Anger, frustration, accusation? What then? The emotions pass through. Though they can be accessed again and again if I dwell on the details of the argument, bringing them back over and over to life by reliving the past, the words, the perceived hurts. I can make myself into the victim anytime. When there is a disturbance in life the urge is to run away or to fix. I feel annoyed, so I wa

“Come into agreement with your life, so that you are not turning away from yourself in any way.” ~Adyashanti from his book The End of Your World We human beings are so often running away from ourselves, and yet what a ridiculous idea when we try to picture it, like a cartoon man trying to escape his shadow. There he is, relieved, standing for a brief moment at high noon at the height of summer on a blue sky day, wiping sweat from his brow. “Phew,” the thought bubble from his

“Do work for the work’s own sake.” ~Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj This weekend I and my husband Jeff (you can read about what we do here ) performed a kid’s concert to benefit our friends, Melanie and Dennis. They are farmers on Sunbeam Farm who suffered over $19,000 in damages during Colorado’s flooding this fall. Their entire 2013 fall harvest had to be sent to the landfill. The food was potentially contaminated by the flood waters and could not even be composted. To get ready